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Of all the protuberances extending from our bodies, it is our noses that are held in highest esteem when it comes to enjoying wine.  The Schnoz of a trained wine professional is thought to harbor more natural capabilities than those of normal people.  However, it hasn’t been until relatively recently that the world of science has begun to figure out just how is it we detect and identify odors.

A good reasoning behind this progress is that it hasn’t been until relatively recently that we have been able to begin to understand how our brains work.  It turns out that the nose of a Sommelier is nothing special.  In terms of hardware, we all have approximately the same level of sensitivity.  Therefore, the only real major difference between the nose of an amateur and that of a professional is, like everything else in the world, the amount of practice and training.  That and bravado.  Professionals know that sometimes emphatically stating that something is the way they say it is, regardless of the truth, can be taken seriously. Because really, who’s to argue?

All that practice and training of course, does little to “tone” our sniffers, but more to educate the olfactory memories of our brains.  That’s right, we learn how to pick out smells in the same manner we learn how to play a song.  We memorize the pattern.  This of course means we can mistake one smell for another in moments of error.  Our memories are imperfect beasts.

Speaking of beasts, how many times have you been told that dogs or other animals are far superior smellers that we humans are?  Let me please disabuse you of that notion.  There are two ways to smell.  One is called Orthonasal Smell which happens when suck air in through our nostrils.  There is no doubt that animals with larger and longer snouts than us are superior at this kind of sniffing.  More space for sensors to pick up all of those molecules.  However, there is another type of smelling called Retronasal Smell which happens when we breathe out through our nose.  As far as we can tell ape descendants are the only animals that have a sizeable retronasal passageway to make this kind of function useable.  Therefore, we smell things before we put them in our mouths, and we also smell things (hopefully food) after they have been put into our mouths.  Two smells for the price of one.

He doesn't even care if the steak is cooked well, does he?

He doesn’t even care if the steak is cooked well, does he?

One could say we have a much more developed second dimension of smell.  It is this secondary smell combined with the enhanced processing powers of our brains that actually make us far superior smellers that most of the animal kingdom.  Interestingly, we are the only animals that appear to be concerned with the quality of the calories being put into our mouths for ingestion.  It turns out that even if you have lost your sense of orthonasal smell, that doesn’t necessarily mean your retronasal smell capabilities will be affected.

So what are smells exactly?  It depends upon which part we are referring to.  In wine, a number of different smells that can be found in wines are handily put onto what we call aroma wheels or in lists for our reference.  However, the aromas listed are actually collections of a number of different aromatic compounds which themselves are combinations of various different individual molecules.

Let’s take rosemary for example.  If you were to smell the plant you would say, “This smells like rosemary.” But a more trained sniffer would say, “I smell a combination of woody and floral notes as well as some conifer, clove, and eucalyptus”.  And beyond that, each of those individual aromas are either single molecular compounds or a combination of a few of them.   So an aroma must be thought of as a complex object and not a single entity much like a picture.  A picture after all is a collection of shapes and colors and that analogy is quite a bit more appropriate as will soon be realized. The term bouquet is perhaps more appropriate when discussing the collections or aromas in wines, but we tend to use those terms differently (if not incorrectly) in the world of wine so I will forgo its use here.

Before we recognize aromas though, they must first pass through our snouts to be captured.  Again, once on the way in (orthonasal), and once on the way out (retronasal). How that happens is really still up for debate.  The previous theory was that we had receptors that would accept a single odor molecule much like a key fitting into a lock.  That has been modified over the years with the allowance that perhaps more than one odor molecule may fit onto a receptor.  After all, we might not even have space to put a specific receptor for every single scent we can sniff.  An additional theory is that the odors vibrate the receptors instead of locking into them; much like sound vibrates our ear drums.  Gas Chromatography analysis of smelly things is somewhat based on this vibrational theory as it is used to identify the individual molecular compounds which it visualizes in the form of a plot of different frequencies.  This looks a bit like the sound waves of an erratic melody or the EKG print out of a failing heart.

Regardless of what the actual entry method is and how much is detected, each odor received sends a unique set of signals to a portion of our frontal lobes in the brain that is formed in the shape of a light bulb aptly called the Olfactory Bulb. Because our odor sensing receptors are tuned to multiple odors, the signals flowing up will tend to have overlaps as they hit the Olfactory Bulb.  The outer layer of this section called the Glomeruli is composed of individual cells, much like an LED screen which is “lit up” neurologically speaking with the pattern of the smell.  fMRI studies have actually been able to watch this happen and produce visual images of smell.  Yes, that’s right; when you smell a strawberry, it creates a different image in your brain, than when you smell a banana.

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However, our noses have different thresholds of detectability for different aromas.  For instance, TCA (2,4,6-Trichloroanisole), the odor we speak of when a wine is “Corked” can be detected when it is merely a few parts of a trillion.  Diacetyl, on the other hand, which is the basis for all of the buttery and creamy aromas takes a few parts per thousand to be detected.  And while there is some variation between individuals on what these thresholds are, there is perhaps more variation found depending on what kind of wine the aroma is in.

To complicate our perception of what we are smelling even further, the aromatic image that appears when we sniff can also be shaped by how we are mentally framed and primed beforehand.  In other words, we can be influenced by what have smelled previously, what we are currently craving, or even what we have been told about what we are going to smell.  For instance, it has been shown that even professional wine tasters have insisted that aromas exist in a given wine even though they do not just because the color of the wine they were smelling had been changed unbeknownst to them.  Perhaps, no one has sneakily changed the color of your wine, but how many of us can recall a time where a particular odor, good or bad, just would not leave us and we insisted we smelled it everywhere.  The nestling of our olfactory processing center so closely to our memory center helps us emotionally connect to aromas, but can also lead to confusion when too much information is presented during a sniff.

Traditionally, when it comes to wine we rely on seasoned experts to assist us in how we should perceive a wine’s aromas. While we assume that the conclusion of a practiced professional will be more consistently correct than an amateur, they are still dealing with a measurement where the human nose is more precise than any other means of measure that we have.  That is to say, you can never be completely sure if the overly poetic description of a wine’s aroma is what is actually emanating from the wine or even if it is the same as what you will sense.  Helpful for the general gist of what we can expect, but should be taken with a grain of salt.  Therefore, when it comes to flavor matching in wine and food pairings, it is best to speak in generalities instead of specifics.  The red fruits in the wine will probably bring out the red fruits in the food even if they aren’t the overripe and slightly confectioned cherries you were told to expect.

Our sense of smell, once relegated to our least powerful sense, has actually been shown to perhaps be our most affecting sense.  Its connection to our memories creates emotional responses when triggered and as we uncover more about how the sense works, it is taking on a new level of dimensionality.  However, the typical wine drinker should rejoice in knowing that even if we marvel at the skill a professional demonstrates when they can identify a wine at first sniff, we all smell things a little better after we have taken the first sip.

Additional sources for reading:

Neurogastronomy: How the brain creates flavor and why it matters – Gordon Shepherd

Taste Buds and Molecules: The art and science of food, wine, and flavor – Francois Chartier

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Recently, NPR ran a story about the Danish concept of Hygge (“hue-gah”).  Admittedly, I didn’t actually hear the story, but was told about it be someone who only wishes to be described as “The best person in the world” and “Incredibly sexy”, but nonetheless, it sparked both of our interests and some thorough Google research and execution of the concept soon followed.  A quick definition of the word would be as difficult to do as defining Terroir for the wine world, but at its heart Hygge is a warm emotional connection to a moment.  “Cozy” seems to come up a lot when describing it.  However, the best found definition was found here.  The current theory is that Hygge is responsible, or at least a large part of why the Danes are so happy according to people who measure that sort of thing.  Naturally, those of us in Minnesota have been taken with the concept since Hygge is particularly an effective draw during our winter months.  In other words, we view it as a way to stave off the impending madness that comes from the winter doldrums.

Some examples of Hyggelig (“hue-gah-lee”) things:

  • Savoring a warm meal with someone while being basked in the candlelight.
  • Curling up on the couch with your cup of morning coffee and reading a book.
  • Enjoying the conversation of friends on a cold winter’s eve.
  • Hearing your soft footsteps running on a trail in the snow.

Basically, Hygge, is what this blog is all about for those of us who are imbued with the world of wine. Interestingly enough, the other dovetail of Hygge and this blog (which I assume is the American national past time) is that it’s all about mental framing and priming.  When an idea is framed, it is put in a certain context.  This is like setting the boundaries of a debate topic, or when the media presents a story in a certain light; in a way, how you think about something is restricted by the parameters set forth.  Priming on the other hand is presenting bits of information ahead of time that influence the direction your thought process goes down in the future.  If you’re paranoid, you’d probably call this being brainwashed.

You will like this wine.  Shhh, don't talk, just drink.

You will like this wine. Shhh, don’t talk, just drink.

Framing and priming are an integral part of the wine and food experience.  We have expectations [framing] as to what a wine will taste like and if it meets or exceeds that expectation we will have a positive experience.  If we just recently took a whiff of a particular herb and we notice an herbal smell in a wine, we are more likely to label that wine aroma with the herb we originally took a whiff of [priming].  This is why wine descriptors, although fun and sometimes poetic, are mostly bullshit, but I will have more to say about that in a future post.  I have often been asked how I create wonderful experiences revolving around wine and food and to take away some of the shroud of mystery, it’s mostly that I am able to frame and prime people’s mental state in the way that I want for the experience I give them.  Yes, I have a certain level of cooking ability and a knack for judging what wines various people will like with a meal, but if I just set a dish down with a glass of wine down and said “Here’s your dinner. Eat it alone.”  the Hyggelig-ness (I just created that) of the situation would drop dramatically.  So I put the lights down a little lower, set the music to match the mood (always have music), light some candles, point out aspects of the food and wine that I think go together well, and lo and behold; suddenly we’re having a good time.

Let’s take that clambake I did back in the summer as an example.  If you tried to recreate that yourself, you could have gotten the exact same food and the exact same wine, but it could have really sucked as an experience for you if you ate it in a hurry in between doing errands or with a dog constantly barking at you, or perhaps you were just in a bad mood.  You really have to linger in the experience to the point where it become intimate.  Notice I didn’t say grand, opulent, or even fancy. Just intimate.  Connected.

Anyway, tonight I will be creating some Hygge with a dish of pasta, chorizo, and chickpeas and most likely a darkly fruity red wine (Pro secret: you can generally enjoy any wine with any food as long as you like them both and make slight adjustments if necessary).  I will wear my most Hygge heavy shawl sweater.  The atmosphere will be set with a fire in the fireplace, some ambient candle light, the lights from the Christmas tree, and some music turned down low as the snow falls outside.  Conversation will be enjoyable, and most importantly, the experience will be lingered over.

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Hygge prep

As the Cranberries once asked: “Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let in linger?” To that I say Yes, Cranberries, yes you have to let it linger.  Therefore, I hope all of you, especially those of us in the wintry north and the shortest days, find some Hygge this winter.

Mega-Hygge candle

Mega-Hygge candle

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And if you just put your glass of wine underneath like so...it's gonna taste better.

And if you just put your glass of wine underneath like so…it’s gonna taste better.

A while back, I wrote a post on hyper-decanting and how oxygen affects the aromatics of the wine right before you drink it.  Apparently I wasn’t very clear in one respect though so I’ll be exceptionally clear now: Don’t buy wine aerating accessories.  They are stupid.  Now, I know everybody that read up on my experiment shuns toys like the Vinturi, but apparently people keep buying those things; so as a PSA, please tell them to stop doing so for their own good.  If you’d like, have them read through their patent application and find where it states how their method of aerating the wine will improve the wine.  They won’t be able to because it’s not there.  Fun fact: Vinturi is gimmicky derivation of the Venturi Effect which describes the reduction in fluid pressure experience when the fluid flows through a constricted piece of pipe.  The concept is generally used to mix liquids, gases, or a combination of the two at a different pressure than they would be just dumping them together. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t decant or swirl your wine up with oxygen (with or without a motor-powered mechanism to do so) to get those aromatic compounds moving about.  But I haven’t found a single, impartial taste test done that shows a Vinturi would be a solid purchase to aid your wine drinking habits.  Even these folks at the Huffington Post who don’t know much about wine couldn’t support it.

Let’s review the 101 on oxygen and wine aromatics:

  • Oxygen is generally avoided during the process of making wine because fermentation is an anaerobic process.
  • When oxygen interacts with finished wine, it aids in releasing aromatic compounds.
  • Different aromatic compounds have different densities.  If we could visually see what we smell in a glass of wine we would see the fruity aromas sitting up at the top and the earthy odors down towards the bottom.  This is why Riedel feels that everyone needs a different glass for every different type of wine, which I feel is slightly flawed logic.
  • There is a finite amount of aromatic compounds in a glass of wine.  The most enjoyment comes when they are at the peak of their release (or escape if you visualize them as imprisoned revolutionaries, as I do) and the varying compounds are being released in balance to one another.  I developed this popular chart and the term “Point of Diminishing Maturity” previously to assist in learning how this works:winearomaticsexperiencechart-0012
  • Usually the length of time a wine will need to be decanted, or to just sit there until you find it best to drink depends a lot on how far along the maturity path the wine already is.  If it’s an old and tannic red wine, it may take up to 2 hours in a decanter to “wake up”.  If it’s a vibrant young wine that just needs a little settling down, it could take 5 minutes.
  • Your preferences as to what you view as being “perfect” will be different than someone else’s.

Given these points, here are some reasons why one would want to decant or hyper-decant a wine:

  • Off-odors exist. A lot of these off-odors (sulfur, garlic, cabbage, rubber) tend to have a lower density than the desirable aromas and thus would “blow off” or dissipate.
  • The wine aromas seem unbalanced.  Pour it out.  Let it sit. See if they readjust themselves.  However, it could be just that the wine itself wasn’t made that well and is inherently unbalanced.
  • The wine seems “Tight” or you don’t seem to be getting much aroma off of it.  I find that a lot of this problem can be resolved by letting the wine warm up a little bit, especially with whites.  Letting the wine sit in the bottle or a decanter for awhile usually has the desired effect too.  You can also do a little Hyper-decanting if you’d like.

Oh, P.S. a milk frother works pretty well for hyper-decanting.  Bonus points: it can be done in your already poured glass of wine and it costs around $5 at Target.  Whir until fully frothy and then let it sit for 5 minutes. Win!

Now here’s Vinturi’s claim:

Traditionally, decanters were used to aerate wine. However, decanting is time consuming, cumbersome, and inconvenient.

Let me correct their marketing departments warping of a fact first:

 Traditionally, decanters were are used to aerate wine.

Now, let’s examine the remaining claims about how evil decanting is.

  • Time consuming.  The active time it takes to decant a bottle of wine is approximately 10-20 seconds depending on how fast you are pouring the wine.  Then you let the wine sit in the decanter between 0-120 minutes depending on the wine.  With decanting mentality, the time you let the wine sit depends on what the wine needs.  With Vinturi mentality, Vinturi give you one length of time for their “processing”.
  • Cumbersome.  Decanting a bottle of wine requires you to not only open a bottle of wine, but to also get a decanter out and pour the wine into it.  If you don’t become exhausted doing that, you may find the energy to drink your wine after this is complete.  The Vinturi method involves holding their device perfectly above your glass and making sure you pour the wine at the correct speed so it doesn’t overflow the device every single time you want a glass of wine.  …Yeah, their method is much less cumbersome.
  • Inconvenient.  I’m not quite sure how they are justifying that their Vinturi device is more convenient than a decanter, but I would back up the claim that it’s easier than hassling with a blender for some hyper-decanting.  However, you probably already have a blender so you wouldn’t have to spend $25 on a new kitchen gadget (compared to a $5 milk frother).  Admittedly, people spend a lot on decanters because they view them as works of art, but that means the decanter is solving a person’s need to feel “arty” as well.

To recap, the amount of oxygen that needs to be mixed with the wine before you deem it to be “perfect” to drink will vary greatly between wines and between people.  Therefore, a “One-size-fits-all” device probably can’t be justified as being appropriate to tackle the problem of getting the wine to the point where you think it’s perfect to drink.  Please file this under evidence supporting my notion that the vast majority of accessories for wine are stupid and pointless.

 

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This past Friday I was a judge at the International Cold Climate Wine Competition hosted at the University of Minnesota.  I’ve helped out at the event before and honestly enjoy being on both sides of the competition because I think it is well run.  They use ranked voting in the final round to determine winners which even those who think very little of wine competitions tend to agree, works out pretty well.  Here are the results for the top awards:

Top White Wine: Parallel 44 (Kewaunee, WI) for their La Crescent

Top Red Wine: Shelburne Vineyard (Shelburne, VT) for their 2011 Marquette Reserve

Top Specialty Wine: Illinois Sparkling Company  (Peru, IL) for their “Stereo” sparkling wine blend of La Crescent and Frontenac Gris

Top Minnesota Wine: Millner Heritage Vineyard and Winery (Kimball, MN) for their 2012 Little Iza (La Crescent)

Overall, I think there were a lot fewer moments when judges were impressed by the wines this year compared to the last, but I don’t think it was caused by a drop in quality; just a rise in expectations.  I was involved in a debate about whether to award medals to wines simply because they were free of faults or not. I stood on the side that technical proficiency should certainly set the bar, but was not necessarily a determinate of medal-worthiness.   There’s always debate in the wine world as to whether or not some faultiness is acceptable. We don’t judge the most influential albums on the technical execution by the musicians do we? Yes, they have to be good enough, but do they need to be perfect in order for us to get the point?

The most surprising thing I learned from the judging experience was how little people know about what goes on during a wine competition or how they work.  To help the general public I have composed an FAQ made up of actual questions I have received to hopefully clear up some misconceptions.

The Wine Judging FAQ

1. Aaron, how do you hold all that alcohol? You’re drinking like 40+ wines in a day. Are you Russian or Irish?

Truth is, I have a little of both in me, but that’s not relevant.  As expert wine judgers, we spit out all the wine that enters our mouths after we have tasted it.  Yes, that’s gross, and no, we don’t make mistakes about which glass to reach for.

2.  Can I watch? I’d love to see you in action! You’re soooo dreamy and handsome!

Wine competitions are usually closed events and for good reason.  I’m not sure anyone would really want to watch a bunch of people sitting around tasting wine and then spitting it out all day.  Although, I do suppose people watch golf and fishing, which are at the same excitement level, but I don’t think most reasonable people can handle it.  After all, it’s not like you’d get to participate.  The press shows up and takes awkward photos or video of you swirling and swishing, but they usually look like they’d rather be drinking the wine.  However, if you’d like to get a group of adoring fans together for my next event to do some tailgating, crazed cheering during the breaks, and maybe some autograph signing if I’m in a good mood, then that’d be just fine.

3.  Is the International Cold Climate Wine Competition truly international?

Yes. 300 entries were received from commercial wineries in 12 different states and Canadian provinces (Count: 2 countries).  We even had Canadian judges!  Some “international” competitions can’t claim this.  In fact, I’m pretty sure there are some “international” airports that can’t support their claim either.  The ICCWC is unique in the fact that only wines made from cold hardy (French-American hybrid grapes) varietals and fruits are allowed.

4.  Anybody can judge wine, right? You’re just saying which ones you like?

No and no.  Wines should be judged on two aspects: one the technical details of the wine (Appearance, Nose, Palate, Finish, Faults) and the other is whether the wine is a good representative of what it is.  Knowing both of those items takes a great deal of experience and knowledge.  Personal preference should always take a back seat.  Just to toot my own horn a little bit here: I was able to correctly identify through blind tasting that a Marquette that I felt most represented what a Marquette is was actually from Vermont.  I knew this because I have had a lot of experience with Marquette (not unique in the room of judges) and also I had a lot of experience of tasting Vermont Marquette (unique in the room of judges).  This was in fact the Vermont Marquette that won the Best Red award.

5.  How do you keep tasting things all day? Are you a super taster?

Very good question.  Most wine competitions limit the number of wines judges can taste because palate fatigue is a very real thing.  Varying the kinds of wine being tasted certainly helps, but going over 50 wines is just asking for some lazy tasting at the end.  If judges are tasting some astronomical number of wines you can be assured that there will be a high margin of error.  And to the second question; no, I am not a super taster.  I have yet to count my taste buds, but my preference for whiskey neat probably puts me in with the more tolerant tasters.  In other words, I’m not overly sensitive to certain things.

6.  How can I become a wine taster?  That sounds like a pretty neat job.

Through hard work and dedication, kid.  Keep at it.

6a  Keep at what? What am I supposed to work hard at?

The work that needs to be done, of course! Just work hard at everything you do.

6b  But what should I work hard at?  Can’t you give specifics?!?!

DON’T MAKE ME REVEAL ALL MY SECRETS!!!!!

***I am no longer taking any questions at this time.  Thank you.

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Google Gets It Wrong

This would be cool if weren’t wrong. Chianti is a region in Italy that makes wine primarily from Sangiovese grapes. The rest are grape names. And then they threw in “Rose” a style of wine at the end. So close to being useful functionality. Is this why Americans are generally wine illiterate?

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I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled programming on wine and food to bring you this message on whiskey and whiskey.  Because people ask me about that too.

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For those that have traveled in or around Iowa (Why? I don’t know) in the recent decade and enjoy drinking whiskey, you may have heard of Templeton Rye.  The town of Templeton, located in Central Western Iowa apparently got tired of those boring cash crops and decided to make some whiskey based on so much rye.  Naturally this was back in the Prohibition days and reputedly was the favorite brown drink of Al Capone.  Then again, I could be Al Capone for all the internet knows.  Regardless, the common consensus is that it is a tasty rye whiskey.

However, a few years ago, the folks at TR had a bit of a [good] problem on their hands.  The stuff would fly off the few shelves it was stocked on in Iowa the second they were stocked.  And of course, you don’t deny someone their whiskey needs.  It’s un-American.  Therefore, TR, a bit strapped on space, resources, and most likely general know-how on how to massively scale up their production decided to outsource it to Chicago (Most likely because Al Capone once hung out there too).   Therein lies the rub for a lot of TR fans.  Now, it’s pretty much everywhere.  No longer is it cool to say you picked up a bottle of TR.

There’s just one little catch.  The distillery in Templeton is still producing* their original recipe in their original way, while the folks in Chicago are using the original recipe in some way that makes more whiskey.  No need to get technical about that one since you’re probably having a glass of TR right now.  Therefore, you can still be cool if you pick up one of the bottles that is actually bottled in Templeton.  But those still go fast.  Tell me how I’m supposed to know which bottle is which, Aaron!!!!  Turn the bottle around.

Handwriting means it was handcrafted.  Everything else is made by hand-less workers.

Handwriting means it was handcrafted. Everything else is made by hand-less workers.

The question is, do they taste different?  Well of course I’m going to answer that question for you.  I spent nearly an hour figuring it out because I care.  Obviously, it wasn’t a blind tasting, because I had no one around to pour it for me this afternoon and my pet monkey is much too lazy, but I can guarantee my professionalism during the experiment (not the monkey’s). As seen in the above picture, the glass to my left held the rye bottled in Templeton which was procured for me by a dear friend that has been wrestling other whiskey-fueled patrons to get “The Good Stuff” annually for the past few years to give to me on my birthday; the right was the outsourced bottle.  The difference between the two after much considerable attention to the matter was absolutely nothing.  Appearance, nose, palate; all the same.  Admittedly, the Chicago bred version had just a twinge more bite to it to begin, but that was most likely because I had just uncorked the bottle whereas the other had been opened previously.  The bite will mostly likely diminish slightly in the future as it is wont to do.

In concluding remarks, I should impress upon you that if you are merely interested in trying TR, either option should do just fine.  However, if you would like your friends to talk about how “In-the-Know” you are behind your back, go with the bottle that has the handwriting on it.  I personally just like the added detail of information displaying batch/barrel/bottle/bottle date on it to make me feel better about myself, but you are free to try to fake your own back label if you want and then sell it on eBay.

*A friend of mine reminded me that TR has outsourced the actual distilling from the beginning to a distiller in Lawrenceburg, IN and has merely bottled it in Iowa since it opened.  If you want to see which sweet old lady from Templeton, IA hand labeled your bottle, check out the video on their website.

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Are you one of these guys? No? Then you can't sing Auld Lang Syne while drunk no matter what you say.

Are you one of these guys? No? Then you can’t sing Auld Lang Syne while drunk no matter what you say.

Alright,  here it is; the only sparkling wine advice you’ll need for New Year’s Eve. It’s all about the science of bubbles!!!  Science Friday, one of my favorite podcasts had chemist Richard Zare on to discuss the persnickety peculiarities of bubbly beverages.  Despite the overly-liberal use of the brand name “Champagne” (Remember all Champagnes are sparkling white wines, but not all sparkling white wines are Champagne.) this was a fantastic episode with numerous tidbits that you can use to tantalize your NYE cohorts.  Take special note of Ira’s suggestion of a pickup line.

Oh, and what sparkling wine should you get this year?  Apparently, sparkling red wines are trendy right now (Gamay, Pinot Noir, and blends mostly).  So there you have it.  I just knew something trendy.

Enjoy this and have a wonderful end to your 2012: The year the world didn’t end. Again.

SciFri: Get the Most Bang From Your Bubbly

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photo-5Readers of this blog will note that I adhere to a strict non-point-scale-giving, non-arbitrary-ranking-system policy.  There is a simple reason for this: No regular person drinking wine is going to have an experience epiphany while manually tallying up observational points.  Who gives a shit?  I will point out the things that stand out in the experience of a wine though to help people find the words to describe what made it enjoyable or not.  However, wine critiquing is something that needs to exist for any crafted product to help set prices and to establish an inherent and generalizable definition of value in the industry.

Therefore, I would be doing you, the reader, a disservice if I didn’t actually know how to critique wine.  Fortunately for me (and you), I do.  I follow a close version to what is taught in the International Sommelier Guild which is where I received some of my training.  In order to demonstrate the steps for reviewing wine, I will be using the Gewürztraminer that I made  the other month which is now strangely disappearing quickly every time friends and family are around.

Appearance

  • Clarity: Is the wine free of cloudiness, crystals, or other floaty things that you’d rather not see in there?  This is relating to how well the wine was filtered and fined.  However, it should be noted that the appearance of crystals (a result of a slip-up in cold stabilization) doesn’t affect the taste or smell.  It should also be noted that some red wines are in fact, unfiltered.  When tannin starts to bind and fall in the wine over time, it settles to the bottom.  This is not a fault. Decanting will take care of this if you don’t like to have debris at the bottom of your glass, but some of us like this guy, do.
  • Color: What color is the wine?  You’ll find “yellow” or “red” doesn’t cut it with the professional crowd or color freaks.  You have to say some shade of “Straw” to gold for a white generally and a variation on ruby or garnet for reds.  Really you’re just trying to determine if the wine is the correct shade of color for the varietal.  If it’s brown, then something is wrong.
  • Color depth and brilliance:  How deep is the shade of color and how much does it shine?  Most wine critiques prefer wines that are rich in color and have a certain shiny characteristic (not unlike dog toys).  If you process a wine too much while fining and filtering, you’ll probably take away some of the luster.   The depth or purity of the color is really a preference though.  Some claim it’s an indicator of overall grape quality, but that’s not commonly recognized.
  • Color pooling:  How much does the color of the wine pool to the center? or is there a pale rim of color around the edge where the wine meets the glass?  This is an indicator of wine maturity (not necessarily age).  It’s not that the more color pools to the center, the better the wine is, it is more of an indicator as to how far along a wine is in its life.

Appearance of my wine:  Clear, deep in pale straw color, no pooling.

Nose

Pictured: perfect form

I have a big nose. I get it.

  • Health:  Does the wine smell healthy?  If the wine smells funky then there’s probably something wrong with it.  This could be a bacterial infestation (Mmmmm), general hygiene problems (usually also relating to bacteria), or way too much sulphur (smelling like farts).
  • Intensity:  How much do you have to work to smell the wine? I range this between getting knocked over the head with smell down to needing to dig your nose in the glass to get the faintest whiff.  A lot of critiques seem to like to be hit over the head.
  • Aroma/bouquet:  What are you smelling?  There is a lot of debate between the difference of aroma and bouquet so you’ll see them used interchangeably.  The best definition I have heard is that aromas are the compounds that are inherent in the grapes and bouquet are the compounds that come about during the wine making process.  So if you don’t know what the difference is this one might take a little work, but I can guarantee you that most critiques don’t know either.  The easy way out is just to list what you smell.  Then you verify that the wine you are smelling smells like what it is.  For example, a common Chardonnay aroma from cooler climate areas is Green Apple.  Does your Chardonnay have a Green Apple smell to it?  It should also be noted that humans can only distinguish between 4 different aromatic compounds at a time.  If someone is telling you more, you can call BS.

Nose of my wine: Healthy, mild intensity, aromas of peaches and lemons.

Palate

Marginally unrelated image.

Marginally unrelated image.

  • Sweetness:  How much residual sugar is residing in the wine?  This ranges from sweet down to dry (with an addition of “brut” for sparklers).  Despite what most think, the vast majority of wine produced resides in the dry and off-dry category.  The measure of actual sugar in the wine should not be confused with the perception of sweetness that is mostly caused by…
  • Acidity:  How much saliva rushes into your mouth after sipping the wine?  If you ever hear someone call a wine “flabby”, they are stating that the acid of the wine is much too low to balance out the wine.  As a general rule, the colder the climate, the  more acid is in a wine.  Therefore, if you like high acid Rieslings, don’t expect to like one from central California.
  • Viscosity:  How heavy does the wine feel in your mouth?  Is it vapid and wraith-like or does it have the characteristics of an iron fist wrapped in sweet sweet velvet?  You’ll see this referred to as “Body” a lot, but I find that term is a bit vague for my taste.

Plus we aren’t supposed to sexualize wine descriptions anymore. STAY BACK SEXY PURPLE-ISH PINK WOMAN!!

  • Alcohol:  How much alcohol is in the wine?  Yes, trained tasters can identify the alcohol content of a wine just by tasting it; usually within 0.5%.  Try me.
  • Sound wave:  I’m pretty sure no one else does this, but I can feel how the wine floats through my mouth and visualize it like the shape of a sound wave.  Does it peak early and fizzle out?  Does it crescendo into infinity?  I love this description because I think if every bottle of wine only showed the sound wave and maybe a few aroma descriptors, wine buyers would have zero risk in picking up a wine and knowing if they liked it or not.
  • Tannin:  That cotton-wrapped feeling your tongue endures when drinking some red wines, coffee, or tea.  Tannins bind to your saliva proteins which causes the dry feeling. Anything aged in oak will have tannin and anything which stays in contact with the grape solids for a while (reds) will some degree of tannin as well.  The amount of tannin should be appropriate for the varietal and the style.  The heavier the red, the more tannin it generally has.  The longer it is supposed to have been in oak, the more tannin is imparted into the wine as well.
  • Flavors:  Similar to the aroma/bouquet of the nose.  Do they also appear on your tongue or are they different.  Same reasoning too.
  • Complexity:  How much depth does the wine have?  Or how long does it make you think about what’s in it?
  • Balance:  Do all of these factors balance together or does one stick out to some degree?  Just in case there was any doubt: A balanced wine is a better wine.
  • Finish:  After you swallow or spit (which is acceptable when tasting, but for some reason the ladies seem to think that’s hilarious) how long does the wine linger with you?  Does it quickly dissipate or does it stick around?  The length of finish can generally be tied to the level of quality of the wine.

Palate of my wine: Off-dry, with fresh-acidity, silky viscosity, around 12% alcohol, a sound wave with an even fade-in and fade-out reaching a moderate height, fairly simple in complexity, but well balance and a lingering finish.

So all-in-all my wine turned out to be pretty decent considering I was expecting it to taste no better than something that came out of jug.  If I were going to put this wine out on the market, I could probably get $12-13 for a bottle at retail.  Not bad for a first attempt.

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The best wine is made in…the garage?

Do you ever wonder how many wine critics and writers have actually made wine? I’m not talking about a lifetime of wine making before putting up their wine thieves and turning to writing and criticizing, but just making a batch of homemade wine.  The answer, as you can probably assume, is well under 5% of professional wine writers and critics.  Admittedly, I have not done a complete survey of those in the trade and I can most certainly find exceptions, but recently I picked up the New York Times’ anthology of their wine articles over the past 30 years (more on that in the future) and it has left me with some lingering doubts.  I make this accusation, not from a high horse of self-serving sanctimony, as I myself had never embarked upon a wine making journey until recently, but from a self-disciplined critique of my own limited body of knowledge.   How can one, after all, make comment on a final product, without truly experiencing how it is made?

This is much like “Tech Writers” making critique on the latest iPhone model and its lack of ability to direct them to the correct Starbucks.  Their own electronics manufacturing and software development experience may never have exceeded cleaning the dark colored grit off of their mouse every few weeks, but still they comment.  The title of my wee little blog has been The Wine and Food Experience for a reason. Is experience not the best educator?

One may have noticed that I don’t do any critiquing of wines here.  Sure, I poke fun at wines that are made specifically to cost a certain amount, but I don’t have a 100 point scale and I never, ever review a wine for the sake of reviewing a wine.  I’m focused on my singular experience with a wine and usually its accompaniment with food.  However, I realized in my semi-professional career as a Wine Guy (official title) that I may be asked to judge wine at some point where my opinion would actually have an impact on people who produce the stuff.  Needless to say, I couldn’t tell someone they didn’t de-gas their wine enough which led to an unpleasant prickling on my tongue as I sipped when I haven’t de-gassed a wine myself, now could I?  Shameless.

So a few weeks ago I headed to Northern Brewer , a nationally renown retailer of home brewing equipment and picked up all the goodies for making some wine.  I had just started a full bathroom remodel on an off week from traveling and I figured why not add something else to the plate?  I settled for making an off-dry Gewürztraminer because I wanted some latitude with the amount of finesse needed and most importantly, it was the cheapest option. No, I didn’t crush my own grapes, I just bought a “wine kit” which comes with the juice in concentrated form, the additives, and the yeast.  Amazingly convenient!

Now, wine making is not overly difficult by any means.  People have been doing it for thousands of years with fewer of the tools available than I picked up in 5 minutes of shopping.  But to do it well, takes care.  For you, I have compiled some general lessons from the field of small-batch wine making that transfer into your experience.  I’ll be giving out bottles as soon as it’s bottled, so some of you may get early Christmas presents!

Guess what’s going in your stocking?

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.  It is so easy to get things dirty when you’re making wine.  Dropping things into cloudy juice and needing to fish them out, for example.  Taking samples, the transferring, the pouring, the mixing; every step is a disaster area waiting to happen.  If you’ve ever had a sense of dirtiness when you are tasting wine, you’re witnessing a slip in hygiene.  I’m not talking about the “Sitting in a rustic barn, with faint wisps of manure” dirtiness, I’m talking about the “Something just died in my mouth” dirtiness.  This is why most wineries put custodial duties at the top of their priority list.

The right tools, however few, are essential.  Northern Brewers basic wine kit was missing a few things in my opinion: A wine thief (the thing you see people dipping into barrels to take out wine samples), a thermometer, pH testing strips, and a drill-mounted mixing tool.

A note on additives.  Wine is held in high esteem by a large number of people because making it is generally a reductive process.  Some people also get very high and mighty about this.  In its purest form, the winemaker merely shepards the grapes from their round form into an alcoholic beverage.  This is called Natural winemaking.  They use the yeast that comes naturally on the grapes, no sulphur , no nothin’.  99% of winemakers want their wine to last more than a few months in the bottle and therefore at least add a singular additive of Sulphur. These same winemakers also choose to inoculate their wine juice with chosen yeast strands instead of the natural yeast.  Of course, there are a whole host of things that can be added and done to the wine that aren’t necessarily in that “pure” realm.  Here’s the list of acceptable additives for wine in the U.S. and the list of acceptable processes.  If you’d prefer to drink your wine without an edge of disgust, you should probably avoid clicking on those links.  BUT, additives do actually serve a purpose.  The ensure that fermentation happens, they make the wine clear and not cloudy, they smooth out the flavor, etc. and so forth.  So if you absolutely demand consistent wine, that’s perfectly clear at a cheap price, it’s best not to get worked up about additives.  For my endeavor I added Yeast to convert sugar to alcohol, Bentonite for stabilization before fermentation, Metabisulphite for preservation, Sorbate to control foaming, and Isinglass for clarity.  Now most of these small amounts of additives latch on to particles in the wine and drag them to the bottom which are left in the bottom of the tanks before being bottled, so wine can still claim to be a reductive process.

 

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Being from Minneapolis, I have to be somewhat of a Hipster.  We are the Hipster capitol of whatever, as you know.  I’m not the glasses, flannel, and skinny jeans type; no (that’s so passé), but it is certainly not beneath me to state that something that has now become popular is suddenly uncool.  That something is the wine and cheese pairing party trend.  The mid-2000s called; they want their snobby party idea back.

Like most things I oppose, this one is mostly on principal.  I won’t belittle it because it gathers people together to quaff large quantities of wine while enjoying cheese on the side and a feeling of “fanciness” in the air.  No,  I fully support people who enjoy that sort of thing taking part in that.  It is the fact that the event is a complete sham and people are only maintaining the illusion that they are learning something about wine that I just won’t stand for.  And since I won’t call it out when some guy is talking about how amazing his wine and cheese parties are at a wedding reception and it’s “Just something [he] likes to do”, which apparently makes him a “Wine Guy”; I will do it here.   I’m so passive-aggressive.

So let me lay it out for you: why you should step it up a notch at your next wine-inspired event.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to crack down on the Kraft cheese.  That isn’t the issue.  I’m not even going to crack down on the casual appearance of Two Buck Chuck: still not the problem.  The problem is food science.

Cheese is composed of fat, protein. and salt.  That’s all of it.  The balance of which will cause you to define it as a creamy cheese (i.e. Brie), a salty one (i.e. Aged Cheddar) or something in between (i.e. Gouda).  Plastic-y is something else entirely.  Hopefully, you read the results of my rebelliousness previously and will at least pick up that salt has a certain affect on red wine.  Fats and proteins have long been paired with red wines because they bind with the tannins, thus reducing the cotton-mouth feeling you get from them.  Salt, as previously reported, has a similar effect, and also reduces bitterness.  If you add a couple grains of kosher salt to your coffee, you’ll get a similar smoothing as adding cream.  In fact, milk is still an acceptable additive in numerous parts of the world to ease the bitterness and astringency on overly tannic red wines.

Then there’s acid.  Acid in wine can help lighten up a heavy dish by “cutting through” some of the fat.  A dash of vinegar or citrus in a heavy cream sauce or soup can turn a dish from bland and heavy to focused and structured.  Voilá.  Thus, higher acid in wine cuts through heavy and creamy cheeses.

So here are the two experiences you’ll ever notice at a wine and cheese party. First, when you have a creamy or salty cheese with a red wine, you are masking the tannins or “softening” them in wine lingo and left with the fruit of the wine.  This generally encourages those who aren’t too fond of tannins to drink more red wine.  Then, if you pair an acidic wine with a creamy cheese, you’ll be ok with eating more of that cheese.  At the end of the night, you’re primary experience will be, “Wow, I ate a lot of cheese and drank a lot of wine.”  You will have spent most the evening masking certain items of either cheese or wine.  This is like erasing the horrible lead guitarist in the band and not replacing them with anyone better.

Wine and food pairing, much like a good band is about balance.  Everything has to play a part to create a more complex and enduring experience.  As someone who plays music solo a lot, I can tell you that I crave, crave, crave a full band sometimes to make it more interesting for the listener.  Do you want to listen to a drum solo the rest of your life? I didn’t think so.

When I’m doing a wine and food pairing event, I admit I’ll occasionally have a cheese and chocolate course at the end with a tannic red.  But it’s to show the specific effect the elements of cheese have on tannins in red wine. That’s a drum solo within a song.  Rock on!

Therefore, if you truly want to make the night an interesting experience over and over again, you have to change the mix of interactions between the wine and the food.  There are five different basic tastes you can play around with.  Have something sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and savory (umami) and then see what happens with each of those and the chosen wines.  You will learn something, I guarantee it.  From then on, you can taste a food or wine and ask yourself what you think is missing or what more you are craving to make that sensation balanced.

This self-impression of balance is what is being referred to when someone says,”This pairing did/did not work for me.”  But only by getting beyond wine and cheese events will you be able to answer the most important part to that, which is why.  There’s certainly a time for having a little wine and cheese as a snack, because sometimes simplicity and comfort are what we are craving, but that one note solo is not going to make for an entertaining evening again and again.

As a side note, if you really want to seem cool at these parties, use my music metaphor and tell people you need a little more of the bass line on a certain pairing trial and they’ll be astounded.

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